Not A Blonde Bimbo
by FFextraordinary01
Summary: Castle starts seeing someone, a woman much different from what he usually goes for. What will Beckett do about it?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Not a Blonde Bimbo

Chapter: Reflection of the First Date (1)

Pairing: R. Castle and OC (F), R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: Castle starts dating a promising woman, not his usual airhead blonde, what is Beckett to do?

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 992

I had to resist the urge to scream at the top of my lungs like a high school girl who had just gotten asked out to the Prom by her long time crush.

Tonight had been perfect, at first I had been beyond reluctant to go, it was a bit insulting that my mother had seen fit to set me up on a blind date. But I knew that if I didn't go that she would only make things worse. The woman was as stubborn as a mule.

I had left the 12th earlier than usual, having to bow out of getting some celebratory drinks with the team. We had just closed a tough case and everyone felt the need for some time out.

I had rushed home for a quick shower and to change into some non-crinkled clothes. My mother had set up the entire date, all I knew was her name beyond that the rest was a mystery. I could only hope that she wasn't some sort of wannabe actress.

She was the daughter of one of mother's friends that alone didn't settle well with me. I had met mother's friends and they were all just as much a diva as she was. But I had been in for a pleasant surprise.

Claire, the non-diva, had arrived at the restaurant before me. When I had been shown to the table, I had expected to see some colourfully dressed blonde with lots of make up on. Instead a smartly dressed brunette was seated at the table.

She had been so very different from what I had expected that for a few moments I had lost my footing. I had wanted to try and be confident and suave but I just hadn't been able to, it had been so long since I had been on a date that I had forgotten what to do.

I knew that I had been meant to complement either her shoes or earrings; I just didn't know which one. I felt like an awkward school boy out on his first date, floundering around to try and impress the pretty girl.

"Claire, I haven't dated much in the last few years." I admitted after having taken a gulp of liquid courage.

"The last person I dated was my ex-husband." She had confessed with a slight blush.

It had made me feel better, putting me at ease. At the end I had decided to hell with putting up some façade, we were two mature people out having dinner. We could just be ourselves. There was no need for acting and pretences.

Once our nerves had been eased the date stopped being awkward, no more halting conversation for us about inconsequential things. Instead I had found a woman who could keep up with me, a woman who was witty and had a sharp mind.

Claire worked at the local university, she was the Anthropology Professor. She was a far cry from the diva I had imagined when I first heard about the date.

We had spent the night talking about anything and everything that came to mind. When she told me about her job, the passion in her voice had me entranced. I couldn't not listen to every word that she was saying, it just wasn't possible.

The evening had ended far too soon for my liking, although we had exchanged numbers and agreed to see each other soon. No date had been set upon though, something which had made me slightly nervous.

I had decided to not dwell on it, instead focusing on the fact that I had had an enjoyable night out with a beautiful and intelligent woman.

When I got home, no one was in sight, Alexis had already gone up to bed and mother had left a note saying that she was going out to a play with friends. I knew better than to wait up for her.

As I went through the motions of getting ready for bed, I couldn't help but compare Claire to Kate Beckett. She was an important part of my life, I was completely in love with her, but she was also my best friend.

I had started to accept the fact that Kate just didn't share my feelings. It was a bitter pill to swallow. But I was a big boy; I had been divorced twice and raised a daughter by myself.

Kate was perfect. I didn't have some rose tinted image of her, I knew about all of her imperfections and faults. But I had accepted them even after seeing her at her worse. I wanted to be with her but I knew it would never happen.

I had been reluctant to go on this date. Not because my mother had set it up, or because I was nervous, or even that the press would find out. Going on the date was like admitting defeat to me.

That I had lost the chance and opportunity to be with Kate, that it would never happen.

I had realized that this was happening, that my chances of being with her were all but non-existent however this was more than just acknowledging the fact. It was admitting it, as well as starting to move on.

I doubted that I would ever be able to move on, even though I had never really had her, she was everything that I had ever wanted and more.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of these thoughts. It didn't do well to dwell and linger on them, they only depressed me. I didn't want my good mood to be spoiled tonight with thoughts of unreturned love.

Maybe it was time that I finally tried to move on, instead of just drifting about completely at a lost as to what to do. I would still have her in my life, as my partner at the 12th and my best friend but that would be it.

0o0o0o0

AN: What did you think? I hope you enjoyed it.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Not a Blonde Bimbo

Chapter: Now That Would Be Telling

Pairing: R. Castle and OC (F), R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: So Castle has just had a good first date with Claire, let's see what follows.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words:

Throughout the week Claire and I stayed in contact with each other, we weren't playing the only call you in three days' time so I don't come off desperate game. We were adults, responsible adults that didn't want to mess around and waste time on silly games.

There were several phone calls, nothing earth shattering though. We would talk about our day; it was a nice change for me to be able to talk about my day with someone other than Alexis or my mother. I loved them both dearly but I needed a friend.

A friend that wasn't a family member or who didn't work at the 12th. Claire was a breath of fresh air, she was honest and open, which made her easy to talk to.

Aside from the phone calls we also texted each other, they were short little texts, either friendly and flirty or just simple questions. I wanted to get to know her better and I fully believed that she had the same goal in mind. There was still a lot to learn about her and I had more than enough desire to do so.

Mother was smirking and gloating like only she can, I had tried not to make it obvious that I had had a good time but somehow she just knew. It was baffling how she done that sometimes, she would have just the right words ready for me or a good hug if I needed it. No matter what I sometimes say, she really is a good parent.

Alexis hadn't said a word so far about my date, except to ask me if I had a nice time. I caught her sneaking a few looks here and there at me with a curious expression on her face. She probably wanted to know more, I just had to wait her out. Sometimes that was the best approach with her.

Unfortunately it wasn't only my two favourite red heads that had caught onto my happy attitude. It didn't take long at all for Esposito and Ryan to know that something was going on with me. They had tried to be sly with their nosy questions, too bad for them I knew their tactics.

I was uncertain what to say about the whole matter really, Claire was a nice woman but so far we had only gone on one date. A date which our mothers had set up, bunch of divas had nothing better to do than set their children up on blind dates.

I hadn't dated in what felt like forever, having everyone know would take the magic out of it. Or so I reasoned. I just didn't want to advertise it yet, I wasn't ready for that. Before I would rush into things blindly, not caring what people thought in the slightest, but now I was more cautious.

Not only had the boys caught on but so had Beckett. She hadn't said anything, well that wasn't exactly true, she had made a snarky comment on texting and how it was busy murdering the English language. I knew her well enough to know that she had caught on that something was happening.

And that was a problem.

I could read her moods easily, when she was frustrated she would chew on the cap of her pen or how she liked an extra sugar in her coffee when she was tired. When we stood around the murder board and something had just suddenly clicked together in her mind, she got this look about her that was part triumph and smug and something completely her.

When she was angry her eyes would flash and turn a darker shade of green. If she was uncomfortable in a conversation she would glance to her right, staring down at the floor, to either gather her courage together or to think of a way to turn the conversation around.

When she had gotten shot, bleeding out on the blindingly green grass with a bullet in her chest and I had confessed my feelings to her, I knew that she had been lying that day in the hospital when I had gone to see her.

I had spent years studying the woman, getting to know everything that I could about her; I knew when she was lying. I had known from the moment that she told me she didn't remember. Though for some reason I had convinced myself otherwise, trying to believe that she was telling the truth.

That my best friend wouldn't lie to me, it wasn't the only time I had asked her though. But she stuck to her story of not remembering, I should have known then that nothing would come of it. That I had been foolish to hope that our relationship would change and develop into something beyond mere friendship.

It was because I knew her that I could see that she was frustrated and angry, it was directed at me. This was something that I didn't understand. I hadn't done anything to upset her lately, leaving her chair alone when she left her desk, not making paper aeroplanes out of her paperwork or any such thing.

I wanted to ask her what was wrong, get her to tell me what I had done to earn all of the death glares. But going in that direction wouldn't hold favourable results for me. Pushing her just didn't work, it always backfired, and I had learnt that the hard way. So instead of trying to get her to talk to me, I waited her out silently.

When she was ready she would tell me what was going on, and not a moment sooner.

The week had been exhausting; the team had gotten slammed with four separate cases. Gates disliked me immensely, believing that I was only a distraction to everyone else; however I wasn't the only one she disliked.

It was clear to everyone that she didn't like Beckett, though the reason behind her dislike of the best Detective of the 12th was a mystery to everyone. Including me, I could guess some of the reasons but they were too petty and small for the amount of dislike she showed Beckett.

Friday afternoon as I sat next to Beckett's desk as quietly as possible so as to not to interrupt her while doing her paperwork, my cell phone rang. Reaching into my pocket while offering Beckett an apologetic shrug for disrupting her concentration, I pulled out the phone only to frown slightly.

It was Claire.

We normally spoke in the evenings, it wasn't a set rule or anything, but it was just the way things were. I answered the phone, hoping that nothing bad had happened to my new found friend.

"Hey Claire." I greeted trying to sound casual.

"Hey." She replied back, her voice was soft but I could detect an undertone of worry to it.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, I had wanted to be casual but sometimes the best approach was a direct one.

"Yes… Well no, I have this work thing." She breathed out with a tired sigh. "I was supposed to go with my one friend but his boyfriend is sick."

"That's not good, what you going to do now?" I asked sincerely, she had told me all about the function that the university was hosting to raise money during our date.

"I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go, if you not busy or anything." She replied, her voice was strong and filled with confidence.

"I would love to." Was my immediate reply, I didn't want to give myself the chance of backing out.

"Good, thank you for this Rick." Her voice was filled with both relief and gratitude.

"It's really not a problem, who knows we might even have fun. It's a black tie even right?" I asked.

"Yes, they like to keep it formal and upscale." She answered.

After confirming the time and date as well as were to meet her, I hung up the phone. The boys were eyeing me curiously from their spots at their desks while Beckett was staring at a form on her desk. Her eyes weren't moving, which meant she wasn't reading a word of it. I decided not to comment on it though and even if I had wanted to, I wouldn't have had the opportunity as Esposito suddenly spoke up.

"Sounds like you have a date, bro." He chimed up, his arms folded over his chest as he looked at me.

"A fancy date." Ryan added, pushing his chair away from his desk.

"Come on man, where's the dirty details?" Esposito demanded with a smirk.

"It's not a big deal alright?" I replied, feeling oddly defensive and just a tad bit uncomfortable.

"Sealed the deal yet?" Esposito asked as if though I hadn't said anything.

"Enough chit chatting, get back to work." Beckett growled out, glaring at them for a few moments before turning back to the form.

I bowed my head, staring down at my shoes as the boys retreated back to their work. It wasn't often that Beckett took that tone with them even though she was technically their boss, she didn't really order them around like that.

I glanced at my watch after a few moments; it was close to three in the afternoon. The function started in a bit over four hours' time. Getting up from my seat, I muttered a quick goodbye before hurrying away.

I hated when there was awkwardness or any sort of tension between the team, it felt like fighting with my mother or Alexis. It just didn't sit right with me. And instead of sitting around for a while longer I could rather get home and find something to do before I had to start getting ready.

0o0o0o0


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter: Straighten Out Your Tie

Pairing: R. Castle and OC (F), R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: Castle has just agreed to go to a Black Tie event with Claire, let's see if everything goes smoothly for the writer

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, cross my heart.

Words: 1447

I was no stranger to Black Tie events, they had been something that I had enjoyed, well before Beckett had waltzed on into my. It was the way those in high society mixed, getting together in fancy designer clothes and sipping expensive alcohol while talking about the latest beach house that they had just bought.

That description probably made it all sound ridiculous and it was, but I didn't care about their beach houses, I had met a few people over the years that had become friends to me. They weren't the type of guys you could call up to go hang out and grab a beer. But if you wanted to race your latest Ferrari then they were the sort of friends one needed.

It wasn't just the shallow friendships that held all my interest though, when everyone got together bragging about lavish things my mind would run amok. Creating stories about them, that the high end stock trader had gotten the money for his latest Rolex through the black market and such.

Tonight wasn't about how many stories I could come up with before the function saw an end or to brag about something. This was a real outing for me.

Standing in front of the mirror, I attempted to straighten out my tie one last time. I was ready to go, dressed smartly in one of my fancy suits, cufflinks and all. Tugging and pulling at my tie one last time, I made my way out of my room. Alexis was out with friends and mother was working on some project at her school.

Traffic was its usual nightmare, cabs swerving as they pleased and pedestrians just walking hastily to get to their destinations. The bright lights of the city had always been an attraction to me, the city that never slept. There was always something going on, someone awake and doing something, it was never completely quiet.

But I needed my silence as well, hence the beach house. A person needed an escape, a way to just get away, to not worry about everyday life.

Once at the University I quickly made my way inside, Claire had asked for me to meet her at the doors. I was a few minutes early, but better early than never early, it wasn't my mother who had taught me that concept though. A true diva never arrived for anything early or on time for that matter.

I felt like an awkward teenager waiting for his Prom date to come floating down the staircase. My heart was racing and I couldn't stop fidgeting, I mentally slapped myself. I needed to act normally; my only goal was to have a good time tonight with Claire.

When she stepped into the room, my wracked nerves just seemed to suddenly melt away, she was stunningly gorgeous. I made my way to her, an easy smile on my face as I took her hand in mine before bringing it to my lips. She was simply beautiful, the most beautiful woman tonight.

Her dark black hair shone as it cascaded down her back freely, her blue eyes were large and piercing and her lips were more eye catching than Mistress Irene's had been. The black dress that she wore revealed her perfect figure, not carelessly showing it off but not hiding it either.

"You look absolutely beautiful." I said honestly, holding her hand in mine.

"Thank you Rick." She replied with a happy smile before dropping my hand to straighten out my tie. "You look handsome tonight."

I had been complemented and flattered many times before, it was no secret that women loved me. But I had stopped loving their attention; working at the 12th had caused me to grow up in a lot of ways. And when I had finally realized what my feelings for Beckett were exactly I had done my best to be a man that I thought could be worthy of her.

Beckett's constant string of rejections had cut deeply, causing me to wonder if I was in fact at all desirable or attractive to the opposite sex. It was an insecurity that near crippled me, I found myself so very unsecure and uncomfortable with any sort of compliments.

"I'm glad you approve then." I retorted, smiling widely at her. "Shall we?"

With that we stepped into the large room, the University had gone all out on the function from the look of things. People were mingling in their little social circles; I recognised several of them easily as we made our way to the bar. I couldn't wipe the arrogant smirk off my face when we did finally reach it.

Claire was eye catching and her dress didn't do anything to take away from that fact, instead it added to it, it plunged low down at her back. When she walked her hair would move, allowing for a glimpse of her smooth skin. My fingers were itching to touch the enticing skin of her back.

We stayed close to each other the entire night; there was always some form of physical contact between us. Be it her leaning into my side, my hand on the small of her back, or her hand holding the sleeve of my jacket. I had been more than willing to just stand at her side quietly throughout the night as she got people interested in donating to her department, but that hadn't happened.

She never left me out of the conversation, always trying to include me in some way. It made me thrilled beyond belief. And if I didn't understand something she would explain it to me in a way that wasn't condescending or insulting.

The passion that she displayed while talking about what she done drew me in even more. I wanted to see more of her passionate side, I wanted to see and know every side of this woman. It was a revelation that startled me as I had never expected to feel this way about someone else ever again.

A small dance floor had been set up, the small live band played a mixture of soothing jazz and blues, and I had led her onto the dance floor once she was done talking to her biggest donors. It was soft intimate music which gave me the perfect excuse to hold her close against my body. Mind you though, nothing inappropriate.

We had swayed gently to the music, stepping here and there but for the most part just standing with the other in our arms. It felt good to hold someone and to be held by someone in return. It was one of the things that I missed the most. Intimacy.

"I'll drop off you, it's on my way." I offered with a smile once the evening was over and I had found out she had arrived via cab.

"Are you sure Rick?" She asked softly. "I don't want to be a burden."

"It would be my pleasure." I interrupted with a wide grin, she wasn't any sort of burden. "Come on."

I took her hand in mine as we made our way out of the University building, looking over at her to make sure that she was okay with this small development, I was rewarded with a bright smile. I was going to take that as a yes.

Twenty minutes later and I pulled up in front of her apartment building, we had chatted the whole way. I was saddened that our night had arrived to its conclusion; I didn't want it to be over.

Getting out I made my way around the car, opening the passenger door for her. She favoured me with a wide smile as I helped her out; we walked in silence to the door of her apartment building. I could feel my nerves start to return with every step that we took.

As she turned to me, her keys in hand, I decided that it was now or never. Stepping into her personal space, I leaned down and placed a light kiss on her lips. We stared into each other's eyes for a few moments afterwards. And suddenly as if though we had practiced it, we both inched forward towards each other.

I pulled my head away slightly, breathing hard near the point of gasping. It had been everything that a kiss should be.

"I should go, it's getting late." I murmured softly. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Good night Rick." She breathed out quietly.

I waited till she had closed the door behind her before driving off, a grin spreading across my face. It had been a wonderful night. Claire was a wonderful woman.

0o0o0o

AN: Any interest in the next chapter being from Beckett's point of view?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter: Beckett's Friday Night

Pairing: R. Castle and OC (F) and R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: Castle rushed away early Friday afternoon after a call from Claire, just a short chapter from Beckett's POV

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 1188

KB POV:

I watched as Castle all but ran from the 12th his face alight with happiness, the phone call he had just received was the cause of his sudden happiness. Whoever this Claire woman was I already didn't like her.

Of course I would deny that until I was blue in the face, it was irrational of me to not like her. I didn't even know her, had never met her before in my life, just learnt that she existed earlier this week. So there was no reason to dislike her…

Huffing in irritation, I tossed my pen onto the desk. I couldn't concentrate; the only thing that was going through my mind was the fact that Richard Castle had a date tonight with this Claire woman.

I couldn't decide on whom to slap, this unknown woman for coming into Castle's life and making dates with him. Causing him to leave the 12th early, even if it was paperwork filled afternoon he always stuck around. Just sitting in his chair beside my desk and playing angry birds. Now though, he had sprinted out of the 12th to go and primp for his date.

And that made me want to slap him, hard, maybe even more than once.

I could recall the words he had said to me that day in the cemetery perfectly, how he had hovered above me trying to stop me from bleeding to death, his broken voice as he begged me to stay with him. Telling me that he loved me.

And now he was busy dating some woman, what sort of name is Claire anyway, she was probably some tall blonde with huge breasts and an empty head.

That was his type after all; I had seen numerous photos of him in papers and magazines with airheaded blonde bimbo's hanging all over him. But that was before he had started shadowing me, becoming my partner and friend.

I had thought that he had changed, that he was sincere in his feelings for me, that he would wait. That day at the swings, sitting alongside him after not seeing him for months, I had thought he had understood. That he would wait for me, for the wall to crumble into dust, I had believed that he would.

I could feel the boys staring at me, their gazes cautious as they tried to watch me without drawing my attention to them. I didn't want them to see me have a meltdown; I wouldn't be able to explain it. What would I say to them if that was to happen?

I had yet to be honest with myself about my feelings for Castle, how could I tell them that my heart was slowly breaking because he was going out on a date?

That was why I wanted to slap myself; I hadn't been able to tell him how I felt yet. Or even admit my feelings to myself, to accept that I was in love with the man.

I stuffed all the paper work into a folder before standing up and grabbing my jacket, I had somewhere I needed to go. I needed to talk to someone; I had to get these feelings of my chest before I started brawling like a little baby. Tears were already prickling at my eyes, eager to escape.

"I have a headache." I forced out the words around the lump that had formed in my throat. "See you boys Monday."

I could see that they wanted to say something, maybe ask me if I was okay or what was going on, but I didn't give them the chance. Instead I fled to the elevator, forcing myself to not break down in the middle of my work place. To not give into the emotions that were demanding my attention, to not let the heartache take over.

The car ride was a blur; I couldn't see the road properly from the tears swimming in my eyes. Thankfully I made it in once piece, stumbling out of the car; I rushed up the stairs of the building, hastily pushing open the door. Sitting in her usual spot behind the receptionist desk was a cheerful young woman, Jenna, or some such was her name.

Taking a seat in the uncomfortable hard plastic chair, I waited for Dr Burke to be able to see me. I didn't have an appointment but the man always tried to deal with emergencies. This was an emergency. It felt as if though I was busy dying.

"Come on in Kate." The deep voice of Dr Burke suddenly spoke up.

Looking up from the floor I spotted the man standing in his office doorway, his face as impassive and calm as always. It was what I needed, someone to share my burdens with that would understand. Maybe explain to me why it was that Castle couldn't wait for me.

With a shaky nod I got to my feet, I didn't feel like sitting any longer though, I had to keep moving. If I stayed still a moment longer I wouldn't be able to move again. Pacing the room with my hands fidgeting and twisting together, I ignored Dr Burke who was calmly sitting in his usual chair watching me wear down his carpet.

"His dating!" I blurted out, the words just spilling from my mouth.

"Richard?" He asked seeking clarification.

"Yes! Him." I snapped out feeling the stirrings of anger starting to take hold of me.

"What happened?" Dr Burke asked, never losing his calm and cool demeanour.

"They've been texting all week long and he walks around glued to his phone with this smile on his face, which I want to beat off of him." I ranted, not even trying to engage my brain to mouth filter. "And then she phones him!"

"Hmmm…" Dr Burke intones, not looking away from me.

"That's all you have to say?" I all but yelled at him. "She asked him out and he didn't even hesitating in saying yes."

"Should he have?" Was the calm response I got back.

He had just been officially added onto the list of people I wanted to slap, him and his stupid psychology questions. He knew how much I disliked dissecting everything, delving into my emotions but no, he couldn't give me a break.

"You already know the answer." I spat out glaring at him.

"Should he have said no?" He asked, neatly dodging my comment.

"His supposed to want to be with me." I said quietly, my anger leaving me immediately.

An hour after my little confession I felt better, Dr Burke had talked some sense into me and made me realize what I had to do. Ranting and raving like a crazy person wasn't the way to go about this. With my anger gone, I slowly made my way back out of the building.

I wanted to go home, crawl into a ball on my couch with a bucket of ice cream and a tear inducing movie that would hopefully distract me from thinking about him. Him being out on a date with some woman.

0o0oo0o0

AN: So did you enjoy KB's POV? I wanted to get our favourite ME in it but I decided to save that for a later chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter: Introducing Claire

Pairing: R. Castle and OC (F) and R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: After getting called in for a case over the weekend, the team finally get to meet Claire.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 2891

0o0o0o0

Saturday morning I woke up feeling tired and grouchy, last night had been wonderful, getting to spend time with Claire as well as getting to know her better. But my dreams had changed my positive mood, turned it around completely, for Kate Beckett had evaded them.

I had dreamt often of the beautiful Detective, almost every night since I had met her really, this time though the dream didn't leave me feeling happy, wistful or even hopeful.

Instead I was frustrated, mainly frustrated with myself if I was being honest. I had dreamt of the function, everything was identical to reality except Claire's face would often morph into Beckett's. One second I would be standing beside Claire and the next Beckett was in her place.

I stayed in bed losing track of time as I stared up at the ceiling; my mind was a mix of jumbled thoughts. I needed to move on, I had to move on. Pinning after a woman who didn't return my feelings wasn't something that I was willing to do any longer.

Deep down I knew that she cared for me as a friend at the very least; somehow I would just have to learn to live with that fact.

Claire was a perfectly wonderful woman, she was smart and friendly, kind and open and spending time with her was something that I had come to enjoy a great deal. A part of me wondered if I was using her, letting her be a distraction, a distraction from Kate. I didn't want to use her, the growing feelings of affection that I held for her seemed genuine to me.

I vowed to myself that I wouldn't use this woman, that I wouldn't hurt her; I knew what it felt like to be used and discarded. I wouldn't put Claire through that, I refused to.

The morning light was filtering in through the windows, I watched as it crept across the floor and walls, covering the furniture it encountered in its bright light. Slowly it inched its way to the bed, Kate Beckett was like sunshine to me, warm and gentle. Yet she could be scorching and relentless.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of my thoughts on her, here I was in bed the morning after having gone out with another woman thinking about her and comparing her to sunshine. I hadn't even actively been thinking about her, my mind was as ensnared as my heart.

The hold that this woman had on me was something that I had never experienced before, the creeping beam of light that was inching closer and closer to me on the bed caught my eye. I scrambled out of bed; I had to stop thinking about her.

I just had to.

I had just settled down at my desk to answer some emails when my cell phone vibrated, glancing over at where I had left it just moments before its screen was lit up with her picture. It was a good picture, she wasn't looking at the camera, it was taken from a slight angle, but I had captured her in a rare moment. She was smiling; her guard down and her face glowed with happiness.

I wanted to ignore it, just let it ring or maybe reject the call. But it would be childish on my part and it would also just cause me to wonder the day away about why she called. Although I already knew the reason, there was only one reason she ever phoned me.

It was work related; she didn't just call me up to ask how my day had gone or some such thing. She always had a purpose, something that she was focused on. Some task to accomplish, her relentless drive was one of the things that I loved about her, she was always so determined and motivated to accomplish the task set out before her.

I let out a huff at myself while reaching for the phone; I couldn't even just ignore a single call from this woman.

"To what do I owe this call?" I asked dryly.

"We got a body." She answered back in her brisk no nonsense tone.

What do you know, it was work related.

0o0o0o0o0

The weekend passed slowly, my thoughts often removing me from the present, no matter how hard I tried not thinking about Kate Beckett either subconsciously or consciously was near impossible. I couldn't do anything without thinking about her, making coffee had me thinking about her, trying to work on Nikki inspired even more thoughts about her.

The only time I didn't think about her was when Claire and I texted or called each other, in those few moments nothing else mattered. It was just us, even though things were still so new between us, Claire drew me in.

She was a breath of fresh air; she made me feel important and wanted. My perspective and opinions mattered to her, she wanted to get to know me and spend time with me. It was something that I hadn't experienced in a long time; I could practically feel my self-confidence growing.

Her attention and interest was a balm to the cuts that Beckett's rejections and disinterest had inflicted upon me.

The case only lasted till Monday afternoon; Beckett had managed to get the suspect to confess to the murder. She just had a way about her when she went into the interrogation room. Of course with the case being solved that meant it was time to do paperwork. Something which I avoided like the plague.

"You guys want to go out for celebratory drinks tonight?" Beckett asked with a friendly smile, looking over at the boys before glancing at me briefly.

She had been acting strange the last few days; it seemed as if though something was bothering her, just clawing away at her. She hadn't said anything so I hadn't asked; I was tired of being the one who had to always ask. Getting answers out of her was the equivalent of doing an obstacle course, one with many obstacles. Too many obstacles.

I had seen her glaring at thin air, sometimes accompanied by mutters, which was strange. Though the words "balloons", "airheads", "watermelons" and "tart" ramped it up from just being strange to downright weird. Maybe she too had had a strange dream?

I wasn't the only one that was worried about her or had noticed her strange behaviour; the boys had been watching her closely. Trying to be sly about it, they had failed spectacularly at being sneaky. The offer of drinks was probably her way of making it up to them for having snapped at them earlier when their surveillance had riled her up.

"I'm not buying!" Esposito declared quickly, tossing his pen down onto his desk and crossing his arms over his chest.

"I won't be able to stay long; Jenny and I are going to watch Titanic tonight." Ryan added, looking serene and love struck.

"Bro!" Esposito hollered, with a shake of his head.

I stifled the laugh that wanted to escape me; Ryan was so in love that he was more than willing to tear up his man card himself when ever need be. Esposito still looked scandalised at the thought of his partner and friend watching a chick flick and declaring the fact proudly.

"You are going to be joining us, right Castle?" Ryan asked a slight flush to his cheeks from Esposito's reprimand.

"Of course I will." I answered easily.

Maybe a night out would keep me from going crazy at home, it was worth a try at least. I just hoped that it didn't take them forever to finish up with their paperwork, even if I had wanted to help Gates would have skinned me alive for filling out official police forms. That was the only silver lining to her being in charge, a valid reason to not do any paperwork.

The Old Haunt was far from busy; only a few of the regular patrons were there already, sitting at booths or by the bar. It wasn't the busiest of places but I never regretted my decision in buying it. It was our regular place as well, we had had many fun evenings here, just sitting around a booth and bonding while forgetting the case we had worked on last.

I was half way through my second drink of the night when my phone chirped in my pocket, the boys hadn't heard it as they were busy arguing about some sports team but Beckett let out a harrumphing sound. I looked at her quizzically but she refused to meet my gaze. Deciding to not push her in case she decides to flee, I pulled out my phone.

_**I see you **___

I frowned slightly at the message that Claire had just sent to me, before the words really registered in my tired mind. Looking up from my phone, I searched the pub and my eyes quickly landed on her. She was sitting at the bar with two other women, dressed in a dark blue power suit that did little to hide her curves. I could feel myself starting to smile like an idiot.

"Excuse me." I muttered to the team before getting up and making my way across the pub.

Leaning casually against the bar beside her, I offered her my most charming grin. I was happy to see her, we had made plans to meet for coffee later on in the week but this was such a pleasant surprise.

"Can I buy you a drink?" I offered playfully, batting my eyelashes at her.

"Sure you can handsome." She replied with a wide smile of her own.

"Hey Claire." I greeted sincerely, leaning down to place a soft kiss on her cheek.

Her hand came up to hold the side of my face just as I was pulling away; I stayed where I was, staring into her sparkling eyes. My breath caught in the back of my throat and my heart felt as if though it wanted nothing more than to beat its way out of my chest. The look in her eyes almost had me panting for breath.

She pulled me further into her, I went happily, and her lips were soft and moist on my own. The slightest hint of rum on them from her drink, she tasted better than in my memories from Friday night. It was a soft lingering brush of the lips, no tongue or groping; pulling apart just the slightest amount we remained that way. Her lips were parted and the lipstick she wore was slightly smudged, no doubt transferred to my lips.

I swiped my tongue over my bottom lip; she let out a soft gasp at the action. That and the taste of her sweet lipstick made my breath falter.

"Oh, look Sam is here." The one woman who was sitting beside her suddenly said.

We pulled away from each other, our attention now diverted to her friends. I offered them a slightly bashful smile in greeting; Claire took it upon herself to introduce us. Though less than two minutes later the two women and their male friend left, having plans to go and see a show.

"I should let you get back to your friends." Claire said softly, casting a glance at the booth.

"Nonsense, come and meet them." I replied softly, placing my hand on her arm.

"Are you sure?" She asked a light flush appearing on her cheeks. "I'm still dressed for work."

"You look beautiful." I admitted, it was completely true she did look beautiful. "Come on, no need to be shy."

With that we left the bar and made our way to the booth, I was more than happy to introduce Claire to everyone, in no time at all she had become my friend and maybe one day she could be more. I was trying not to get ahead of myself, rushing in to something had never worked well for me; I wanted to take things slowly. Do them right.

"Claire, this is Javier." I introduced, pointing out Esposito before moving onto Ryan. "This is Kevin and Kate."

Beckett was sitting in her seat her face a stoic mask of no expression.

"Everyone this is Claire." I said to the booth at large, placing my hand on her shoulder.

It was slightly awkward, no one was really saying anything and I had never been able to just sit in silence. Thankfully I was able to break it by getting Esposito and Ryan to start having a rather heated debate on which football team was the best, all it required was me voicing the opinion that I believed another team was the best and then they took off. Arguing the points of their respective teams.

Ordering another round of drinks decreased the odd tension some more but Beckett was gripping her glass tighter than need be while attempting to vaporize the liquid in it with her heated glare. I was just thankful that it wasn't directed at me.

"So do you come here often?" I asked Claire, genuinely interested in her answer.

"I've been here a few times." She answered with a small smile as she leaned in towards me. "And you?"

"Pretty often." I answered with a grin.

"It's a nice place, busy but never crowded, and it just has a certain feel to it." She said gazing around the room before her eyes settled back onto me.

"Thank you." I breathed quietly staring into her eyes.

"What are you thanking me for?" She asked turning more towards me as her hand came to rest on my lower thigh.

"I own the place." I admitted with a small shrug.

"It suits you." She replied, squeezing my thigh lightly. "Warm and inviting."

I could feel my cheeks burn the slightest bit, I wasn't normally one to blush but something about this woman brought it out in me. Seeing my reaction to her compliments brought a twinkle into her eyes. I could stare at her the whole night and it still wouldn't be enough.

Ryan was the first one to leave, wanting to get home to Jenny. I was surprised that he had stayed out so long already; normally he would be rushing home straight away or after the first drink. Being in love suited him.

I could feel someone staring at me, looking away from Claire my eyes found Beckett's; she was looking right at me. I was slightly worried about her, we hadn't had a lot to drink tonight but something just didn't look right about her. Her posture was stiff and uninviting; she seemed to be so very rigid.

But it was the look in her eyes that made me pause, her beautiful green eyes was locked on mine, so many emotions passing in them. Some that I could easily identify, frustration, confusion, impatience and then there were those that I couldn't. The light wasn't the greatest and it made it hard to see her eyes clearly.

I wanted to say something, make sure that she was okay; she could bite my head off if she wanted to but I had to make sure. Even though she didn't return my feelings, she was still my friend. Friends cared about each other and there was no way in hell that I didn't care about Kate Beckett.

"Help me hail a cab?" Claire asked softly.

"Sure." I agreed easily.

Claire said good bye to both Esposito and Beckett, promising to be back soon, I led Claire out of the pub. Once out on the street, we enjoyed our new found privacy for several minutes. The passion when we kissed was something that I could never experience enough of, I didn't want to stop. The weather though had other ideas; it was on the cold side.

Not wanting her to get sick I hailed a cab for her, closing the door behind her. I watched as the cab disappeared around a corner, with one last smile I headed back inside. Esposito was still sitting at the booth, finishing off his beer when I approached. Beckett wasn't anywhere to be seen, not only that but her coat and handbag were also gone.

"Where's Beckett?" I asked curiously, sliding into the booth and taking a sip from my drink.

"She left." Was the curt answer I got, draining his beer, Esposito stood up. "Bro, Claire is nice and all, but do you know what you doing?"

I wanted to be angry, upset even but I couldn't be as there was genuine concern in his voice. Instead I found myself thinking about what it was that he was trying to say to me. He wasn't one to make mindless chatter.

"I don't understand, what are you talking about?" I asked in confusion, though I had the faintest idea as to what he just might mean.

"You'll figure it out." He said quietly, shaking his head slightly.

He clapped my shoulder as he walked past me, making his way out of the pub. I was left sitting at the booth by myself with my emotions all over the place. Looking around at the pub I decided to call it a night and just get home.

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AN: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Let me know what you thought of it (I know you want to) and on a side note a chapter from KB POV will be coming up soon


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter: Confrontations

Pairing: R. Castle and OC (F) and R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: I think it's time for Beckett and Castle to have a little talk, don't you?

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 2131

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Monday evening was seen as a success in my book for the most part, we had closed a case, gone out for drinks and I had bumped into Claire. This caused my even more frustration than I would have normally felt at my inability to fall asleep.

Sleepless nights and I weren't strangers; I would spend many nights chasing criminals about in the city with Beckett or spend it working on Nikki and her latest adventure.

Instead of falling asleep once in bed, I had laid awake, thoughts plaguing my mind and refusing to stop. Thinking about what Esposito had said and what it could mean, thinking about the latest case that we had just solved, thinking about how happy Ryan was of which I was slightly envious, thinking about Claire and finally there was Beckett.

I could never escape her.

It was a restless night for me, tossing and turning, I was easily pulled out of my light slumber, numerous times, by the sounds that were emitted 24/7 from the city that never slept. The sun had already lit up my room in its warm light before I managed to get a solid hour worth of sleep. Naturally, as I was dozing off yet again, my phone chose that precise moment to ring.

I wanted to ignore it or better yet fling it against the wall and just curl up under my blankets. Staring at it with a vicious scowl, I stretched my arm out and snagged it up from its position on the bedside table.

Kate Beckett.

Of course it would be her that was calling me.

It was said that the Universe worked in strange and mysterious ways, right now it just seemed cruel to me.

"Good morning Detective." I chirped with as much cheer as I could manage.

"We have a body."

It would seem as if though my cheer wasn't appreciated, rolling my eyes as she snapped out the address, I tossed my phone onto the bed once the call was disconnected. I didn't feel like going into the 12th today, I was tired and miserable. All I wanted to do was stay home and sleep the day away.

With a sigh I got up, hopefully the case would be able to distract me from my thoughts. Making my way to the bathroom sluggishly, I had to clamp down on my tongue to prevent the foul language from escaping me as I stubbed my toe against a piece of furniture.

My mood didn't get any better as I went through my morning routine, in the shower I got shampoo in my eyes, drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen before leaving saw me not only burning my tongue but also spilling several drops on my white shirt. With a barely supressed growl of irritation, I changed my shirt before leaving the loft.

I just hoped that my day didn't continue in this manner, it wasn't often that my mood was anything but upbeat. Feeling moody and upset dragged my spirits down. I managed to hail a cab, which was a miracle by itself, to get to the address that Beckett had given me.

I arrived at the crime scene an hour after having gotten her call; almost everyone was already done with their jobs. She was still with the body though, standing over it in the bedroom as Lanie was crouched over it taking notes and what not.

"No coffee?" She asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm sure you know how to order a cup yourself." I snapped out before I could stop myself.

Oh boy, bad moods and I really don't get along well at all.

"Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning." Lanie said from her position, not taking her eyes off of the body for even a moment.

Not wanting to snap at everyone around in the first five minutes of having arrived at the crime scene, I bit down on my lip. Stopping the comment that wanted to escape me, with a grunt, I crossed my arms over my chest and just stared impassively at the body.

Nothing freaky about it really, aside from it being a huge overkill. From my position I counted three gunshot wounds and seven different stabbings. Someone had definitely been very mad.

"Hey Castle." Ryan greeted happily as he and Esposito stepped into the room.

Esposito proceeded to give Beckett a rundown of all the information that had been collected so far. I stood quietly to one side with Ryan, trying not to yawn every two seconds.

"Castle?" Ryan asked softly, not wanting to disturb the others in the room. "Would Claire and you be up to joining Jenny and I, on a double date sometime?"

_Snap_

Glancing over to the source of the strange sound, I was surprised to see Beckett holding two halves of what had once been a plastic pen. At least that explained the snapping sound, although it didn't explain why she had snapped her pen.

"You okay Beckett?" I asked looking at her curiously.

She looked well enough, upon closer inspection though I noticed that she looked a bit tired and that her hair and makeup weren't as perfect as always. I frowned slightly while taking in her appearance; it seemed as if though I wasn't the only one that had had a sleepless night.

"Fine." She snapped out, anger clear in her voice.

Stopping myself from saying anything yet again, I looked away from Beckett; my fists were clenched tightly at my side. She probably hadn't meant to sound like that; I could give her the benefit of the doubt and be understanding.

But I was tired of always being understanding.

At times it felt like she abused it, took advantage of my willingness to overlook certain things such as her behaviour, comments and arguments. I was no one's door mat.

I didn't get a chance to answer Ryan as Beckett dismissed the boys with instructions; she offered Lanie a tight lipped good bye before sweeping out the room. Her stride was hurried, resisting the urge to ask what she was running from this time, I followed behind her.

0o0o0o0

Nothing had managed to improve my mood during the course of the day; instead it had slowly yet steadily been getting worse. I wasn't the only one who was in a bad mood though; Beckett was still grumpy and moody.

Her patience was all but non-existent today, especially towards me, it didn't help my mood in the slightest. But I managed to not retaliate by making any snide comments aimed towards her, instead a sat quietly in my seat biting my bottom lip raw and clenching my teeth together so hard that I was developing a headache.

We had just sat down in the break room to eat lunch when Ryan asked about the possibility of a double date again. What followed was not a pretty sight. Beckett literally shot up from her seat, slammed her fist down on the table and ordered the boys out of the room.

Of course they immediately complied with her wishes, barely muttering feeble protests under their breath.

"Why are you with her?" She demanded harshly, glaring at me.

"Beckett don't do this." I said quietly, trying my hardest to not let my anger use her as an outlet.

"I will do what I damn well please!" She spat out furiously, pushing the chair away as she started pacing up and down. "Why are you with her Castle? Does she make you happy, huh?"

"It's none of your business Beckett, back off." I grounded out between clenched teeth as I too rose to my feet.

"None of my business?" She cried out indignantly. "Of course it's my business. I knew that you didn't mean it, after all how could you, a man that has gotten divorced twice and messed around with anything in a skirt and pretty smile!"

Well, no more holding back it seemed.

"At least I'm not terrified of committing!" I shouted back. "You don't know how to put yourself out there, all you do is hide behind your damn wall. Keeping everyone at a distance."

"You couldn't wait for me to bring it down!" She thundered back out.

"Wait for what exactly Kate?" I demanded incredulously. "For more of your rejections? Tell me what it is that I was supposed to wait for!"

"Me!" She exclaimed, her hand on her chest. "You suppose to love me, that is what you said after all, or do you fall out of love so quickly that you can just bounce from one woman to the next without a care in the world?"

As I opened my mouth to respond her words truly registered with me, I bowed my head hoping that I had heard wrong. But it was easy to play back her words in my mind. I wasn't wrong.

It felt as if though someone had just taken a baseball bat to my gut, I felt dizzy and out of breath, dazed, my limbs felt numb, the room was swirling about and I was unable to focus on anything in it. All I could hear was the thundering of my heart.

She was still talking, her mouth was moving but I couldn't hear any of it. I just stared at her blankly, half formed thoughts swirling about in my mind, I couldn't even think straight at this point.

She was approaching me, walking towards me slowly, her right hand out stretched. She looked almost worried, her brows drawn together as she frowned lightly, her mouth was still moving yet I couldn't make out a single word that she was saying.

"Rick?" She asked softly, her hand coming down on my arm.

And just like that I was snapped out of my daze, abruptly so.

I pulled away from her, stumbling over my own feet to get away from her in my haste. Even though I was snapped out of my stupor I still felt numb. I stared at her, not seeing the woman who I was so in love with her. No, all I could see was a frigid woman. A woman who had lied to me about my desperate declaration only to have it thrown back in my face during an argument.

"You remember the shooting." I said quietly, my voice all but a whisper.

She tried to come closer, cautiously approaching me but I didn't want to be near her. I couldn't be near her.

"You remember what I said." My voice was strained.

I didn't sound like myself.

I wasn't myself.

"You remember me telling you." I muttered quietly, staring at her. "You remember me telling you that I love you."

"Rick, please I can explain." She said quietly, holding her hands out. "Let me explain."

Her pleading done nothing to me, I didn't feel anything. Not anger or hurt at her having lied to me, I didn't even feel tired and I knew that I was meant to be tired as I hadn't gotten a decent amount of sleep the previous night, I didn't feel the all-consuming need to give into her every demand and request.

I simply felt nothing.

"I have to go." I breathed out quietly.

"Rick please, just let me explain." She nearly sobbed out.

"I have to go." I repeated slowly, my voice void of any emotions.

The door was closed; one of the boys must have closed it earlier when they left. Stepping out of the room, I was hardly at all surprised to see everyone watching. All interested in the latest piece of gossip revolving around Beckett and me, wanting to know if someone had finally won the pool.

Looking back at them impassively, I couldn't find it in myself to be humiliated or even upset that they had probably heard every word of our argument. I didn't care, I couldn't care, I was numb.

I walked to the elevator, my head held high. I had nothing to be ashamed of and I refused to allow the last of my pride to be stripped from me. She had already claimed and taken everything else from me, the least I could do was leave the 12th with some of my dignity.

The elevator was on one of the higher floors of the building, I didn't want to wait for it; all I wanted to do was put more distance between Beckett and me. Immediately.

I pushed open the heavy door to the stair well, it was cool and dark, my foot falls echoing off of the cement steps as I slowly descended them.

The empty beating of my heart was in harmony with the echoing of my steps.

0o0o0o0o0

AN: And that's it for this chapter! Poor Castle…


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Pairing: R. Castle and OC (F) and R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: Castle has just fled from the 12th let's see what's install for our duo. There is RC and KB POVs in this chapter btw.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 1779

AN: Sorry that I didn't update sooner, crazy few days for me. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. See you next week!

0o0o0o0o0

RC POV:

Stumbling into the loft, I tossed my keys carelessly onto the floor once the door was closed behind me. I staggered my way to the privacy of my office, getting home was a complete blur. The last thing that I could recall with any amount of accuracy was standing in the break room with her.

I slumped against the office door, my body feeling numb and weary. Allowing the door to hold me up, to support me, emotions slowly started to take form in me again. I was feeling again.

I wanted it to stop.

The pain was unbearable, if my emotional pain could physically manifest itself somehow I would be left with a gaping wound in my chest. It felt like my heart had been carved out with a blunt knife.

My eyes started to sting, tears forming but I refused to let any of them fall. I would not cry. She didn't deserve my tears, they were only meant for someone who cared, someone who I loved. Not her.

It couldn't be her.

She had taken more than enough of my soul and spirit already; I wouldn't allow myself to weep over her. To voice the agony that I was feeling. As my eyes darted around the room, trying to find something to focus on so that I wouldn't give into the tears, I saw a solution.

A devilishly sinful salvation.

Staggering to my feet, I half fell towards it. My hand grasping the neck of a scotch bottle with a shaky grip. I wasn't one to abuse alcohol, to use it to forget my problems, to overindulge in it but if it could take away the pain I was feeling for just one second then I would sing its praises.

Twisting the cap off, I lifted the bottle to my mouth, gulping down the contents greedily not caring that half of it dribbled down my chin.

Closing my eyes I gulped down mouthful after mouthful, not letting up until the bottle was empty. It tasted like ash on my tongue, hardly surprising. Everything seemed to be dulled. As if though missing an entire dimension.

It was her fault.

The bottle shattered at my feet, glass shards flying in every direction. The sound was muted to my ears, sounding far away instead of right before me. I took another bottle in hand, gulping down the amber colour liquid. I wanted to forget her.

I needed to forget her.

I had to.

0o0o0o0o0o0

KB POV:

I could do nothing but stare as Castle rushed out of the 12th yet the closing of the staircases door snapped me out of my gawping. I needed to follow him; I had to make him understand.

I had to… get him to forgive me.

I rushed after him, my footfalls louder than the gossiping and whispering that everyone was engaging in. Mere feet away from the door my progress, my quest to get to him, was thwarted by none other than Captain Gates.

I couldn't stand her, her and her procedures, the need to use the book for everything attitude. Her name should be on the list of people I wanted to slap. In her case, repeatedly.

"Where do you think you going Detective?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Sir- I have to- Castle." I tried to reply but my words were jumbled.

I didn't have time for this; I had to get to him!

"Back to your station Detective." She ordered crossing her arms over her chest.

She had even less people skills than I did; her uncaring nature with her IA attitude hadn't won her many supporters in the 12th. I floundered, words escaping silently from my mouth in no particular order, "please", "have to", "now" and "urgent" but I couldn't voice them.

"Get back to your desk Detective Beckett." She barked out briskly, her demeanour becoming even more hostile.

In that moment my resolve to go after Castle grew in strength.

"No." I spat out, matching her tone.

"Don't make me suspend you Detective!" Her voice had taken on a shrill tone.

I wanted to shut her up but first things first; I had to get to him. I had to make him understand, I had to get him to forgive me, to love me again like he had before.

"Take it!" I snarled furiously, all but ripping my badge from my waistband.

I shoved my badge and gun at her, slamming them into her chest before running to the stairs. Nearly tripping down the stairs in my haste I didn't allow for it to slow me down, the lobby was Castle-free. It was not a good sign.

Twisting and turning my head when I got to the street, I searched for him. All I needed was a glimpse; it would tell me which way to go. There, short brown hair!

I rushed after the head of brown hair, slamming into people as I hurried after him. I had to catch up to him, to reach him maybe even stop him.

He turned.

My stomach clenched, my heart lodged in my throat painfully and I felt short of breath. It wasn't him. I had been chasing after a stranger, it wasn't Rick.

I had to get to him.

The loft was the next best option.

"Taxi!" I bellowed loudly, stepping into oncoming traffic to hail down a cab.

0o0o0o0o0

RC POV:

Pounding.

Accompanied by a voice.

She was pounding on my door and shouting something.

I would recognise her voice anywhere, normally I would be thrilled to hear it but things were different now. I was different now, my heart was truly broken, all but shattered to tiny little useless bleeding pieces.

Looking at the bottle that I was cradling against my chest tightly, I let out a humourless chuckle. I had drowned mouthful after mouthful, blackness had just started to seep in and now she had taken even that away from me. She just kept on taking and taking.

One thing after another, well I had nothing else for her to take anymore.

Gulping down the last two mouthfuls of vodka from the bottle, I let it tumble carelessly from my grasp. It became just another broken bottle littering the floor of my office. Shattered beyond recognition and repair, much like myself.

I was drunk, furniture was swimming about me as I made my way to the front door. Yet I could still feel nothing but pain. It seemed as if though no amount of drinking would ever be able to make me forget this woman.

Walking into the door, I let out a groan, my hand blindingly reaching for the door handle. Ripping the door open, I made no move to stop it when it hit the wall hard. The bang from its impact clearing my mind just the slightest.

There she was.

Katherine Beckett.

"Castle, please I need to-"She started to say, stumbling slightly over her words.

Of course she had to have the first words; of course it was about what she needed. It was always that way.

Staring at her in that moment, I was transported away in my mind to another day. To the day she had been shot, when I had told her that I loved her. Finally having confessed my feelings to her as I applied pressure to her bullet wound.

I could imagine the warmth of her blood on my hands; smell the coppery tang of blood in the air. I staggered, feeling faint, my side connecting with the door frame as stars formed behind my eye lids.

My imagination was too vivid for my own good.

My knees buckled under my weight, threatening to send me to the floor in an ungraceful heap. But it didn't happen. Instead I was pulled against her lithe yet strong body. Her arms wrapped around me tightly as she held me up.

Warmth engulfed me, her body felt hot against mine and the sweet scent of cherries that was uniquely hers drove me to distraction. She half guided, half carried me further into the loft. Easing me down onto the sofa, I couldn't say anything. I didn't have any words and even if I did have them, I didn't want to open my mouth.

I felt nauseous.

Throwing up on myself would be one hell of a way to continue with this crappy day. She was crouched before me, her delicate hands framing my face forcing me to look at her. To look into her eyes.

Every last ounce of energy I had disappeared in that moment.

"I can't do this, please just go." I whispered out hoarsely, staring at a point over her shoulder.

I couldn't even bring myself to say her name. Just thinking it hurt, I was hurting enough already as far as I was concerned. I couldn't take anymore; my limit must surely be near.

"Castle, please I can explain." She whispered back, her voice cracking slightly.

I wanted to give in, to believe her. To believe that this hurt could stop and that it in fact did have an end. But I couldn't, I couldn't take that risk. The next blow would surely hurt more, I couldn't take anymore.

I wanted to believe that she could explain everything adequately, that she had a good reason for lying to me for all this time. I wanted to but I couldn't, no more false hope for me.

No strings or wagging of tails.

Time and time again I had held out hope, I had no more left.

"Leave." I forced out around the lump in my throat.

"Castle." She replied, determination clear in her voice. "Please, I am so sorry, Castle. I'm sorry."

Her words were quiet yet they sounded so very loud, every syllable caused my heart to clench. The effects that she had on me was amazing, no woman had ever had such control over my body before. No one else ever would either.

I shook my head from side to side, trying to shake off the affects her words were having on me.

She held on tighter to my face, brining my movements to a stop. I squeezed my eyes shut; I couldn't look into her eyes, as they were my weakness. One look at her eyes and I would do anything for her.

An agonised sigh escaped my lips as I felt her rest her forehead against mine, her breath hot against my face. I could feel myself stop struggling, the fight of wanting to deny what I wanted leaving me altogether.

"Castle, please." She pleaded again, her voice soft and soothing.

0o0o0o0o0


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter: 8

Pairing: R. Castle and OC (F) and R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: In the last chapter Kate gave in her badge and gun not to mention Castle decided to get drunk out of his mind. And now these two are finally alone together with Kate ready to take the plunge.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.

Words: 3561

AN: Some of my family has made an unexpected visit to South Africa for the next several weeks, so please bear with me if the next update takes a bit longer than usual. Also, I just want to thank those readers that leave reviews, they really make my day. Now, onwards to the next chapter!

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RC POV

Even in my drunken state, I couldn't help but to notice just how beautiful her eyes were. They were one of her best features, the colours swirling and changing to reflect her mood, sometimes they could even reveal her thoughts rendering her poker face all but useless.

I could stare at her eyes for hours on end unfortunately that wasn't a possibility as there was a knock at the door. Sluggishly I looked away from Kate, turning my head to look at the door. Hosting guests in my current state wasn't a good idea as far as I was concerned.

Clambering to my feet with a slight sway, I made my way towards the door wanting nothing more than to have remained where I had been. Smoothing down my shirt roughly with a flat palm, I pulled open the door not even bothering to look through the peep hole first.

I had been determined to get rid of whoever it was.

"Mister Castle." Gates greeted with her typical icy tone and emotionless nod of recognition.

I had been determined to get rid of whoever had been at the door, politely even, now though things had changed. With a cheerful grin, I slammed the door closed with a loud bang. Maybe I was a bit drunker than I had originally believed myself to be.

Kate was standing several feet behind me, having followed me to the door; her eyes flickered to me and then the door. Her expression conveying shock with just the slightest amount of amusement. A pounding knock started up, Gates was clearly banging her fist against the door.

Ignoring the loud knocking I made my way towards the kitchen, I needed to sober up. Maybe then I would be able to do more than just stare at Kate, switching on the coffee machine. I leaned against the counter, folding my arms over my chest. My eyes were immediately drawn to her.

"It doesn't sound like she is going to give up any time soon." Kate observed, tilting her head the slightest in the direction of the door.

"She would make a good guard dog." I scoffed, glancing briefly at the door.

I had been prepared to ignore the pounding but it was starting to grate on my nerves. If I had been hung over I would have strangled the callous captain to ensure peace and quiet.

Just the thought of what the pounding knocks would have done to me if I had been hung over, was enough to cause me to scowl at the door.

"I'm going to tell her to leave." Kate said a trace of a smile on lips.

I watched as she opened the door, Gates was mid knock; it was rather comical to see the woman so frazzled with her fist posed to beat the wooden door again. Snorting, I turned to grab two cups for Kate and myself.

I could hear a muffle conversation occurring but decided to not pay it the slightest bit of attention. With two cups in hand, one in each, I turned around ready to sit down and enjoy a good cup of coffee before having what would be a difficult conversation with Kate.

I practically recoiled at the sight that met my eyes once I had turned around; stumbling back a step, my eyes took in the scene before me. Gates was sitting at the counter, her back ramrod straight.

I stared at Kate in confusion, inviting the woman into my home was in no way getting rid of her. Kate was tensed as she stared down the captain, her arms crossed over her chest and her death glare firmly in place.

"Sure, come on in, make yourself at home why don't you?" I spat out, slamming the cups down on the counter.

The hot coffee almost splashed over the sides; scowling moodily I slumped down into one of the chairs. The anger I had been feeling earlier, even if it was only a fraction of it, seemed to have returned. Its target none other than Victoria Gates.

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KB POV:

I was in two minds about the interruption, on one hand I was angry but at the same time relieved. Angry because we were being interrupted, this was long overdue. There was so much that had to be said, that I needed to say to Castle. Explain why I had done things the way I had, beg his forgiveness and then there was the matter of confessing my love for him.

Yet I was relieved, I hadn't been prepared to do this today. I had no prepared speech ready and fumbling my way through this wasn't the way I wanted to do it. I had never been good at expressing my emotions and Rick deserved so much more than me being unable to express myself and feelings to him adequately.

He was the words smith not me, it wasn't my strong point. And if past indications were anything to go by, then I would undoubtedly mess this up.

And that was something that I didn't want.

The tension in the kitchen was thick and uncomfortable, Gates was her usual self although something seemed to be off about the woman and Castle was being downright hostile towards her. Not that anyone could really blame him, Gates had never been his biggest fan.

"You said you had something of importance to share." I said, finally breaking the silence.

Moving to the other side of the counter, Castle's side of the counter, I came to a stop beside him. My raised eyebrow was obviously enough of a hint for Gates; I shared Castle's level of enthusiasm of having a conversation with the woman.

"Yes." Gates started, looking a tad uneasy. "I might have acted a bit too… Hastily earlier."

With those rather plain and simple words, she placed my gun and badge on the counter. I internally rolled my eyes at the older woman's behaviour, apparently she didn't do apologies. Or admitting when she was wrong.

"Might have?" I questioned, deciding to ignore my service piece and badge.

"Yes well." She replied looking flustered and even more uncomfortable.

It was clear that I had the upper hand, something that I had never really had when dealing with her, Gates enjoyed being in control. Having all the power in a situation. It was either her way or the highway.

Not something that I appreciated, I was a good detective, I knew how to go about solving my cases and hence I didn't like it in the slightest when she was watching my every move. Giving her opinion on the way I done things, she probably firmly believed that she did know better than me, although her rank was that of captain the woman didn't have much field experience.

"Hmmm." I intoned eyeing her for a moment, before my gaze landed on the counter.

More specifically on what she had placed on the counter. I had all but shoved them into her arms earlier, my haste to get to Castle clouding my judgement. I didn't like having her as my superior but being a Detective was something that I had worked hard to achieve. It was my calling.

Just as I was getting ready to question her further, there was a knock at the door. All three of us turned to face the door as one, Castle looked confused, I was curious and Gates looked relieved at having to avoid any further questions. Taking a look at Castle, I immediately noticed that he was looking much better than he had earlier.

He was no longer swaying in his seat and the glazed look had vanished from his eyes, they were now sharper. He had already finished his coffee while I hadn't even touched mine; it was a miracle that the delicate glass cups weren't broken after he had slammed them down so forcefully.

I angled my body so that I could keep an eye on both Castle and Gates, when he opened the door to the loft I couldn't help the reaction that over took me. My back stiffened even further, my fists clenched even tighter, my jaw slammed shut and a scowl took up place on my face.

Standing there looking perfect was Claire, still a ridiculous name as far as I was concerned. She made me feel self-conscious of my appearance, I wanted to straighten out my clothes, maybe reapply my lipstick and fix up my hair. My eyes quickly took her in, from her leather boots to her jet black hair.

My dislike of the woman had increased upon seeing how immaculately she was put together; it turned into pure hatred and rage as she pressed her lips to Castle's. Claire was officially number one on my list of people I wanted to slap, how dare she just barge on over to the loft and kiss him, his mine.

Well, sort of. I just need to inform him of it first but I didn't know how much longer I could put up with Claire's presence, I did not share. Gates and she had to leave immediately; Castle and I had some serious talking to do. I wanted his undivided attention.

I was hoping that both of them would resist, put up a fight and refuse to leave, and then I could personally show them out.

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RC POV:

Too say that I was surprised to see Claire was an understatement but for the life of me I couldn't remember if we had made any plans for tonight. And even we had, I didn't exactly want to follow through with them anymore. It had been foolish on my part to think that I could move on so easily from Kate.

That I could get over her, it was never going to happen. It was time that I faced reality, time that I manned up and had a certain conversation with Claire. I was not looking forward to this in the slightest; I was ill prepared to do such a thing tonight. I didn't have any prepared and revised words, the alcohol I had consumed wouldn't be helping matters any.

I tried to smile when she pulled away, the kiss had been chaste, but it tore at my gut. It felt as if though I was cheating on Kate. Stepping aside to allow Claire to enter the loft, I studiously avoided looking over at the kitchen. Privacy was needed for this, even if it was only an illusion.

Guiding her to my office, my mind scrambled madly to come up with the words that I needed. Words that were kind, that would avoid hurting her, yet as I closed the door to my office they were still non-existent.

I indicated for her to take a seat on the leather arm chair, resisting the urge to pace up and down was difficult, causing me to fidget slightly were I stood. I had no desire to hurt this woman, she had been nothing but good to me, her open nature had been enticing to me and I didn't want to damage that.

"Claire, spending time with you has been nothing short of amazing. You such a wonderful person-"I started; it sounded cliché to my own ears even.

"You don't want to see me anymore." She stated simply, cutting me off mid-sentence.

"I wish things were different, I do. But they not, you deserve better than someone like me, someone who will probably always be pinning after someone else." I said simply, she was being plain with her words, so I had decided to do the same.

Everything I had said was true though, the time I had spent with her had been amazing. I had started to really get to know her, if Kate Beckett didn't have such a hold on me, I would have been head over heels in love with Claire. She was everything that I could want in a woman, kind, honest, friendly, understanding even charming, as well as beautiful. But at the end of the day no matter how perfect she was, she wasn't Kate.

"It's Detective Beckett isn't it?" She asked, although it sounded much more like a statement to me.

"Yes." I answered honestly.

She didn't deserve to be used or lied to, she was a good woman. I watched as she stood up wordlessly, absently wondering if this was the part where she slapped me or maybe threw something at my head. She approached me slowly, her eyes boring into mine.

"I know what it is to be in love Rick." She said quietly, standing less than a foot away from me. "I also know what it is to lose that love."

I couldn't take my eyes off of hers; there was pain in her blue eyes, pain that made my heart ache for this wonderful woman. She leaned up, brushing her lips lightly against mine in the softest barely there hint of a kiss.

"Take care Rick and good luck." She breathed out quietly, before turning to the door and leaving the office.

I stood still, gazing after her as she left, that had gone remarkably better than I could have ever hoped for. Shaking myself from my thoughts, I made my way out of the office and back to the kitchen. I was surprised to see that Gates was already gone, I hadn't heard her leaving. Although I couldn't honestly deny that it made me unhappy in the slightest that she had left.

Kate was sitting at the kitchen counter, staring at her gun and badge that was still in the exact same spot as earlier. She glanced up at me for a moment before looking back at them. I knew we were going to have a serious conversation, hopefully she wouldn't resist as usual. I didn't have the energy to drag out responses from her.

Sitting down directly across from her with only the counter separating us, I allowed my eyes to take her in as I waited for her to start up this conversation. She was stunningly beautiful, a strong and courageous woman, well not when it came to emotions. She was often hesitant then, keeping her cards close to her chest and never really giving anything away.

I watched as she drew in a deep breath clearly getting ready to say what she had to. The only signs that she was uneasy was that she refused to make eye contact with me and the slightest bit of fidgeting that she was doing with her hands, flexing her fingers, clenching them into fists and wringing her hands together tightly.

"What I done today was wrong." Her voice was quiet yet in the stillness of the loft, it was loud and carried across the distance with ease. "I shouldn't have done what I did. Things were a mess; Lockwood had escaped, finding out about the captain, our fight… it was all just so much."

"I didn't know who to turn to, I was a mess." She shook her head ruefully, finally looking up at me.

I was startled to see tears in her eyes; Kate Beckett was not the type of woman to cry. She was always so careful when expressing her emotions, hesitant when she did and never one to let anyone see her in a moment of vulnerability and weakness.

"The shooting…" She uttered quietly, taking several moments to regain her composure before carrying on. "It was more than a bullet; they had taken that shot in broad day light. In front of so many cops, it was gutsy and bold; they showed that day that they could do what they wanted. They have power and a willingness to do whatever it took to accomplish their tasks."

"When I was in the hospital and you came to visit me, I wanted nothing more than to express my own feelings for you. But everything was so jumbled, my mind was in a haze, I couldn't think straight." She let out a sigh, slumping against the back of the chair seemingly drained of all her energy.

"It was terrible Rick; I was so scared that they would try again. That they would come after me and succeed, that they would kill me. But it never came, instead I drove myself crazy. Every creak, whisper, footfall, I thought it was them." She hastily wiped away the single tear that had fallen. "I had to get away from everything, I couldn't stand it."

"I didn't know if you had really confessed your love for me, if it had been real or just something that my imagination had conjured up." She carried on, her words nothing but a whisper. "I wanted it to be real, I wanted it so badly. But I wasn't in a place where I could accept it. When I came back from the cabin, seeing you that day at the signing made it real, made me want to embrace it wholeheartedly."

"And that was the problem, I wasn't whole." Her breath hitched at this point, she gulped down several breaths to calm herself before looking at me with newfound determination. "I wanted to be whole for you, not some weary woman who was afraid to commit properly. You deserve so much better than that, I have been trying so hard. Trying to open up more, talking through things with Dr Burke and trying to put my mother's death behind me."

"I just wanted to feel worthy of you, I guess. But when you started dating Claire, it felt like I was losing you. That we would never get to try and this part of me took over, I was so angry and jealous." She admitted not once looking away from me. "I couldn't lose you; I don't want to lose you Rick."

There was so many things I wanted to say, questions I wanted to ask but I couldn't bring myself to say a single word. All I could do was look at her, stare at her. Her words were echoing through my mind, all the things that she had just shared with me, her thoughts and feelings. It was so much.

More than I had ever expected for her to share with me.

I had always been willing to peruse a relationship with her; I had wanted nothing more over the last few years. I had been ready to be with her for such a long time. I was madly in love with this woman, unable to refuse her anything, following her willingly around like some lost puppy and nearly every thought I had was about her.

But now though a part of me was scared. Unprepared. Hesitant to step up, unwilling to further our relationship into something more than partners and friends. Already she could hurt me so easily, hurt me more than anyone else had ever been able to do.

I didn't want to get hurt anymore.

The revelation that I was the hesitant one now startled me so that I was physically propelled backwards. The chair wobbling dangerously threatening to topple over and take me to the floor with it. It felt as if though I was unable to breathe, my incomplete thoughts chasing one another in a maddening way with this sudden realization.

I could only stare at her, words failing me completely to the point that my mouth moved soundlessly. Nothing came out, not a single syllable.

I watched on helplessly as she looked at me, tears silently falling from her eyes. My lack of words, my inability to say anything clearly hurting her. Her face contorted with pain as I continued to just stare at her, mentally shouting at myself to say something, anything just so that her pain would stop.

But I was frozen in place; she pushed away from the counter, rising out of her chair. Her eyes darting away from me, looking at everything but me, I saw her bottom lip tremble. Her hand flying up to her mouth to stifle the sob that wanted to escape.

Just like she was preparing to do.

In that moment, knowing that she would flee and maybe never look back again was all the motivation I needed to finally do something. I sprang to my feet, the chair scrapping against the tiles as it was pushed away due to my momentum. With quick strides I made my way to the other side of the counter, to her.

Words were powerful things, their power could build someone up and at the same time they had the ability to break someone completely. I wielded words, used them in everyday life, my words were my career.

They had never seemed as overrated as they did in this moment.

I spoke no words; instead I pulled her to me. Engulfing her lithe body with my own, my arms wrapped around her tightly holding her to me. She wasn't going to escape; the time for running away had passed. I held her as close to me as I could, my face buried in her neck breathing in her cherry scent that was mixed with something uniquely her.

Words could wait, at least for a little while, right now my actions could tell her what my words were incapable of.

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	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Pairing: R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: Will they finally get together?

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 1738

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RC POV:

The ringing of her phone brought us out of our little bubble; I wanted to toss it out of the window but I knew that she wouldn't appreciate that kind of behaviour.

I watched as she pulled away from me, a tinge of red staining her cheeks that honestly just made her even more appealing to me. Everything about this woman was attractive to me, drew me in and held me firmly in a state of admiration.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket, the screen displaying a photo of Lanie. I was normally fond of the sassy ME, she was bold and intelligent as well as a loyal and caring friend to Kate that didn't put up with her nonsense. In this particular moment though I found that I didn't even have one single pleasant feeling towards her.

She was interrupting my time with Kate.

I had been holding her in my arms and now I wasn't.

It was all that damn piece of plastics fault and Lanie's for calling.

My arms felt empty, letting out a breath I decided to give Kate some privacy. Before I done something stupid like snatch her phone and throw it to the floor before jumping on it, she would not be happy with me if I done something like that. Walking away from the kitchen I made my way over to the lounge, flopping down onto the couch.

I wanted to give her privacy but I also didn't want to be too far away from her, I felt a burning need in my heart to be near her. In the stillness of the loft, something which hardly ever happened, I could hear her talking to Lanie clearly. She was trying to convince her friend that she was in fact still sane and not suffering from any sort of head trauma.

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KB POV

After almost ten minutes I finally managed to convince Lanie that I was perfectly fine and that I would explain everything to her in the morning. She had been relentless, wanting to know every detail about what was going on. Apparently there had been a lot of talk from the 12th about Castle and me, specifically our fight in the break room.

Placing my phone down on the counter so that it wouldn't interrupt us again I made my way to the lounge, having spied Rick's head flopped onto the armrest of the couch.

A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth once I was standing in front him, he was fast asleep. Well, maybe passed out. It had been hard not to notice the fact that he was beyond drunk. Sitting down on the armchair close by, I watched him closely as he slept on, he looked so innocent. Free from any sort of burdens and strain.

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RC POV

I had a pounding headache, my mouth was terribly dry and every part of my body ached. With a groan I attempted to force my eyes open, the harsh light that was flooding the lounge immediately caused them to snap shut again.

Forcing myself into a sitting position I felt my stomach start churning as the scent of frying bacon evaded my nostrils. Sleeping on the couch had not agreed with me in the slightest and neither had the alcohol, anything over 10 watts was blinding right now and even food was unappealing.

This was hardly my first hangover but it was the most serve one that I had had in a very long time. I hadn't just had a drink or indulged a bit, I had over indulged because of desperation.

Recalling the reason for my consumption made me feel even worse.

The clattering of movement forced my eyes open yet again, staring blearily eyed at the kitchen I was more than a little bit surprised to see Katherine Beckett.

She was puttering around the kitchen, moving with ease and easily navigating her way around as she pulled out ingredients and utensils. She seemed to know exactly where everything was, so very familiar.

Getting to my feet I slowly made my way to the kitchen, trying to remember everything that had happened last night. Something must have clearly happened but for the life of me I couldn't remember. She looked over at me as I got closer and a warm smile was directed at me that was all it took to remember what had happened last night.

"Hi." I said softly staring into her beautiful and expressive eyes.

"Hey." She greeted quietly the smile still firmly in place.

We stayed like that, just staring into each other's eyes as numerous emotions and thoughts passed between us wordlessly. I couldn't take my eyes off of hers, I didn't want to and I had honestly lost the desire to ever attempt to do so.

"You made breakfast?" I asked after several long moments.

"Yeah." She answered with a small shrug of her slim shoulders. "I hope you hungry."

"A bit." I replied still unable to take my eyes off of her.

"Sit down and grab a plate." She instructed gently.

I followed her orders, the first mouthful was delicious as was the second and third. She definitely knew how to cook. My stomach that had felt so queasy before started to settle down as I wolfed down my breakfast. Everything was delicious.

"Good?" She asked teasingly sitting down and dishing up a plate for herself.

"Yes." I groaned out in bliss.

She watched me for a moment, amusement clear in her eyes before turning to her own breakfast. If I couldn't steal her recipes then I would have to simply marry her.

"So um…" She started hesitantly some minutes later as she took a sip from her coffee having already finished her small helping of breakfast. "What are you doing today?"

I wanted to make some sort of witty remark but when I looked up at her from my plate, it died on the tip of my tongue. The look on her face clearly said that she was apprehensive. Now wasn't the time for jokes.

"Hopefully, having a long overdue conversation." I answered looking into her eyes.

She gave a small nod as she took another sip, a light blush on her cheeks. We had been putting this off for far too long it was time that we either did this properly or just moved on. It wasn't even an option for me anymore, it hadn't been in a long time if I was being completely honest with myself, and I wanted her.

I wanted this.

Putting my knife and fork down, I pushed my plate aside. It was now or never, I had tried the slow and steady approach once before this time I would dive straight in instead. It was time to be bold, to make it clear just what it was that I wanted.

"I want you." I said simply.

She choked on her coffee, spluttering slightly as she put the cup down her eyes were wide as she stared at me. Clearly she hadn't expected me to be so straight forward.

The days of playing games and beating around the bush were over for me, I wanted her and for me it was just that simple.

"No flowery words Castle?" She asked sarcastically, her eyes still a bit wide.

"No." I answered honestly. "I don't want to play any more games, Kate. I am in love with you."

I could have knocked her over with a feather at this stage, I knew that she wasn't big on emotions and bold declarations like these weren't her style. It didn't matter though, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman and for that to happen she had to know how my intentions first.

"Rick?" She questioned looking bewildered.

"I want to be with you, either that happens or it doesn't. I need to know what it is going to be Kate, you the only one who can answer that question." I said softly, not wanting to startle her anymore.

She liked having control, working with her all these years had taught me a thing or two about her. She didn't like surprises or being overwhelmed, she was also the type of person who had to think things through. Analyse something from all its angles and consider everything before making any sort of decision.

Which is why I was surprised when she spoke only moments later, finally giving me the answer I needed.

"It's happening Rick." She said softly, smiling at me as she placed her hand over mine.

"Good." I breathed quietly, manoeuvring my hand so that I could lace our fingers together.

"I want this too." She spoke quietly a few minutes later, smiling at me.

I squeezed her hand gently, not been able to think of anything to say in reply to her words. I was so happy that it felt like every part of my body was practically tingling from it.

We had had our fair share of fights, some tame and others brutal in their nature, there had been obstacles in our way as well and our sometimes clashing personalities. So much had happened since that night she came sauntering into my life with her badge and bold attitude, we had put each other through so much but we had also faced a lot together.

It wasn't all bad though over the years she had managed to become my best friend, the person who I went to for advice and trusted fully, who I had fallen in love with.

She was my inspiration, not just a muse for my writing; she made me want to be the best that I could be. She made me want to be a better person, a better person and friend, a better writer even, as well as a better son to my mother and a better father to Alexis.

She made me want to be a better man.

"Then let's just do it, no more games and subtext." I breathed out pleadingly, our hands still tangled together.

"Okay, okay." She replied, a bright smile on her face.

I could feel an answering smile forming on my face, this was what I wanted. It was a start to my everything, I would marry this woman one day she was all I have ever wanted and more.

The end.

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AN: And this is the end, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has read this story. I hope you guys have enjoyed it.

Until next time, happy reading fellow fans.


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